“A WORD FITLY SPOKEN IS LIKE APPLES OF GOLD IN A SETTING OF SILVER” Proverbs 25v11
Most of us crave peace and harmony, but the reality is when we find ourselves wronged and it is not resolved to our satisfaction there is tension in our interpersonal relationships. In the Gospel of Matthew chapter 18v15, Jesus Christ sets out how conflict should be handled: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that “every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.”
Unfortunately, the easy way out is to gossip and bad mouth the offender. The Bible (Romans 1v29) equates gossip with murder because of how it destroys friendships and divides communities. The Book of Proverbs has much good advice such as chapter 26v20: “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no gossiper, quarreling quiets down.” We all have a need for self-justification, but we should rather be seeking the good of the offender as we read in Galatians 6v1: “Brothers and sisters, even if a person is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual are to restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you are not tempted as well.” If we have this mindset and deal with hurt the Biblical way, the fire goes out and good comes out of evil.
We might even be surprised when we approach the offender face to face that our hurt was wrongly perceived by us and maybe we discover we are just as guilty in our treatment of others and guilty of what we read in Proverbs 26v18: “Like a maniac who shoots flaming arrows, arrows and death, so is a person who deceives his neighbour and says, “Was I not joking?”
Graeme Greenwood